art journal entry: (54/70) // “the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.” ― @richardsiken-poet, Crush
You kissed me like you planned on doing it again
but you tasted like the kind of person
who doesn’t know how to stay
and I think I could tell what you were thinking the moment you fell asleep that night
I remember waking up so god damn early that morning and I spent hours while you were asleep hopingprayingwishing that you’d wake up and smile at me the way I needed you to
But something cracked and changed
whoever you were before that night didn’t stay
the moment you woke up that morning
you looked away
I guess what I’m trying to explain
is that people like you never mean what they say
you act like you’re in it for the long haul and then it’s oh God can’t we just stay friends but I mean Jesus Christ friends don’t look at each other the way we did when we slept in each other’s beds
so it’s not you and me anymore you know
it’s you me and everything we don’t know how to say to each other
so we hold it together in the way we never touch;
we hold it together in the way we stay
just friends
if staying friends means seeing each other
in familiar places and laughing and smiling
like you didn’t tear this to pieces
